Watching birth videos always makes me cry. Maybe I’ll be able to handle myself one day. Hopefully. Maybe. But then again maybe not.
I just finished watching the birth video in this post, and mom’s reaction just had me in tears. Joyful tears, but tears none the less.
Sometimes it gets really bad when I’m ovulating. Just seeing pregnant bellies make me tearful and happy.
I think part of the tearfulness is the long-standing desire I’ve had to work with pregnant mamas and babies; I’ve been intoxicated with the idea since I was 16 or 17, when I found out that my best friend at the time had been born at home. She told me about Ina May Gaskin; I read “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth”, watched The Business of Being Born and was done for. I’d started my journey down the rabbit hole.
The other part of the tearfulness is my deep-seated desire to be a mother one day. Sometimes when I see something beautiful or learn a new thing I find myself talking to my future children under my breath. Sometimes I dream about them in my sleep. One time, I even had a very vivid dream that I was breastfeeding my first child, even though I’ve never given birth.
It’s this primal, sacred desire to be a mother that I feel inside me on a daily basis. And not just to BE a mother, but to love and nurture mothers, babies and their families.
What greater privilege is there than to take part in Creation, to touch the Divine?
To me, it is the greatest honor to be a woman and take part in creating LIFE. We have have Divine power in our bodies to create a NEW LIFE. It just blows my mind honestly that my body is capable of creating a baby with no conscious thought on my part.
Birth is such a beautiful thing to take part in, which is why I enrolled in Ancient Art Midwifery School just this week on April 2.
I’m so excited to learn more! <3