Today, I’m going to tell you why I ditched birth control and how to prevent pregnancy without it.
First of all, I believe that every woman should be fully informed of ALL her options before making a decision concerning what type of birth control she wishes to use.
And I don’t just mean fully informed of all your birth control options. No. I mean fully informed about your body, too! To help you understand more about your cycle and your fertility, I HIGHLY recommend the book “Taking Charge Of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler, MPH (buy here). This is the book that changed my life.
“Taking Charge Of Your Fertility” is extremely informative, easy to read, and full of resources. The book looks large, but that’s because it’s full of resources, charts, and extra information you can look up on an as-needed basis. I also really appreciated that it was well-written and easy to read. My only regret is that I didn’t read it sooner.
Modern Birth Control
The current model of birth control is based off the faulty assumption that women can get pregnant at any given time. The reality is that in a given cycle, there is only a 25% chance we could achieve a pregnancy. Conversely, men are fertile 100% of the time, but they are not the ones targeted for birth control.
This is why I am huge believer in fertility awareness and body literacy. Women should be informed about themselves, their health, their cycles, their fertility, their femininity!
I have personally used the pill, condoms, the LadyComp, the copper IUD, and fertility awareness for birth control.
The Pill
When I married my first husband at 19, everyone I talked to recommended I get on the Pill so that I wouldn’t get pregnant while still in college. I took the Pill for 9 months, and then I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I constantly felt sick, moody, or bloated. My cervical fluid was strange, and I couldn’t get past the fact that long term side effects included blood clots and permanent blindness! The history of the Pill is even more foreboding. Just check out this excerpt from an article in New York Magazine:
The whole point of the Pill from the beginning has been population control. Even though America was consuming more than 50 percent of the world’s resources in the late fifties (with 6 percent of the world’s population), eugenicist fears of the developing world’s excessive procreation ran rampant during the Cold War. According to Andrea Tone’s fascinating history of contraception in America, Devices and Desires, Cold War–era birth-control proponents used the terms ‘family planning,’ ‘birth control,’ and ‘population control’ interchangeably. Women’s rights weren’t the primary impetus to approve the Pill, but they were part of the package, too, of course. “The Pill symbolized the redemption of science,” writes Tone, “showing it capable of developing a technology to stabilize a world order that it simultaneously threatened to destroy.”
After getting off the Pill, I used condoms for a few months, but, as everyone knows, condoms greatly decrease sensitivity and pleasure for both parties.
Still, if you must use condoms, I recommend the thinnest on the market: Beyond Seven Crown (buy here).
The LadyComp
The next thing I tried was the LadyComp, which is an ovulation tracker/computer that records your temperature and uses red, yellow, and green lights to tell you if you’re fertile or not. (Green means “GO! Have sex.” Red means “STOP! Use protection!”)
There are rave reviews about the amazingness of the LadyComp, but I personally did not find it helpful as a sole method of birth control, and here’s why:
- It does not allow for other factors, like caffeine or lack of sleep.
- The Ladycomp gives you quite a large window to take your temperature, which means it could vary greatly. It does not record the time you take it.
- The LadyComp will sometimes show you a green light before ovulation. The problem with this is if you have unprotected sex 5 days before you ovulate, there it still a chance you could get pregnant.
- It makes you lazy because you’re relying on the computer instead of being informed about your cycle.
- It’s less accurate than the Fertility Awareness Method.
- It costs $485 to buy, unlike the Fertility Awareness Method, which is free except for the cost of the book and a thermometer.
- Compared to the Fertility Awareness Method, the LadyComp allows for LESS unprotected sex per cycle because it has a higher margin of error.
- Because there are so many “Red days” where you have to use protection, a barrier method is needed most of the time anyway.
Copper IUD (Intrauterine Device)
When I got fed up with the LadyComp/condom combination, the next thing I tried was the copper IUD, which is inserted into the uterus through the cervix.
It is effective for up to ten years, is a non-hormonal form of birth control, and allows you to have sex without using a barrier at any point in your cycle.
What I wasn’t told before getting the IUD was that:
- It keeps the cervix in a constant state of inflammation.
- It can create copper toxicity in your body.
I also experienced:
- Periods that were heavy and lasted 8-10 days.
- Severe cramping during menstruation.
- Non-stop spotting on every day of my cycle.
- Pain during intercourse.
Well, lo and behold, my uterus expelled the IUD after 6 months! I had it reinserted, and I expelled it again after 3 months. My body knew what was best, I suppose!!
The copper IUD is also very expensive, and not all insurances cover it. I would not recommend it after my experience.
Fertility Awareness Method
(i.e. how to prevent pregnancy without hormones, pills, or invasive procedures)
FIRST OF ALL, the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM or FA) is NOT the same as the Rhythm Method. Fertility Awareness uses temperature readings, charting, cervical fluid observation, and cervical position to determine when ovulation has occurred. The Rhythm Method relies on counting days on the calendar—not bodily signs—to predict ovulation.
Anyway, after my body rejected the IUD (twice), I had no choice but to inform myself. I decided to take the plunge and buy “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” book for a grand total of $20. (I was seriously smacking myself for not doing this YEARS earlier.)
Learning to read your fertility signs for effective pregnancy prevention is one of the easiest things I’ve ever learned. All it requires is that you record both your temperature AND the time each morning when you awake. Taking your temperature each morning quickly becomes routine and is no extra work. And by charting, you can easily see when ovulation has passed and it is safe to have unprotected sex.
I like that unlike the LadyComp, charting your temperatures on paper allows you to visually see when you’ve ovulated. (Oh, BONUS, there is now a smartphone app!) By charting, you can also predict your period a few days in advance. After you chart for a while, you may get to the point where you can predict when you’ll start by the hour. It’s really neat!
Also, unlike the LadyComp, you can write down extenuating factors, like caffeine consumption, exercise, lack of sleep or interrupted sleep—all things that can affect your temperature.
By charting, you get a more accurate reading, so you can have unprotected sex more of the time.
And, if you ARE trying to get pregnant, if you’re charting, you can know as soon as 18 days after ovulation if you’re pregnant just by reading your temperatures!
To clarify, fertility awareness is where you identify the parts of the cycle you are in, when you are most fertile, and learn to (A) avoid sex during the few days you could get pregnant or (B) know when to use condoms or (C) know when you don’t have to use protection at all.
It’s as simple as taking your temperatures and writing them down. You just need to have the book to understand how to interpret them, which you can buy here.
Effectiveness
The Fertility Awareness Method has been proven as effective as the Pill if used correctly. I have personally been using it for over a year with excellent results: no baby! (***UPDATE: I’ve been charting for 59 cycles as of Jan 2017 and still, and still NO BABY! That’s almost 5 years folks!)
Taking my temperature every morning has become routine. You can also get your partner involved by having them put the thermometer in your mouth if you don’t hear the alarm. Some couples have found that both partners taking an active role has made them closer.
I WOULD RECOMMEND CHARTING FOR AT LEAST 3-4 MONTHS BEFORE USING IT AS BIRTH CONTROL. Just so you know what you’re doing and if you’re reading the signs right. In the meantime, barrier methods can be used.
I have found amazing freedom and peace by knowing what my body is doing and reading the signs my body is giving me. I also feel very empowered knowing that I can prevent or achieve pregnancy when the time comes.
Great article, but my question is this – I am living with what the doctors THINK may be endometriosis but have never been able to diagnose it. Even my ultrasounds have come back clean, but I have always had debilitating cramping, so bad that I have thrown up at times. I have been on a crazy amount of birth control pills to try to treat the symptoms and none worked. Finally I found that the Nuvaring works wonders for my pain but has turned me into an emotional wreck. I just want to be free of all these stupid hormones but I am too scared to go back to the pain. I am wondering if anyone has used this method with endometriosis and how it works for them.
Krystal,
I also had debilitating cramps for years, along with a host of other seemingly unrelated symptoms. Turns out I have hypothyroidism (under active thyroid). You can find some excellent info on thyroid disease on the “Thyroid Sexy” page on Facebook. Go through their notes section.
I can say from my current girlfriend (as well as girlfriends past) that there are a few things that really help. The week prior to the start of your period avoid all estrogen containing foods as well as estrogen mimicking compounds. so stay away from soy products and don’t use plastics. In addition I’ve noticed that adjusting my girlfriends low back (I’m a chiropractic intern at Life West) has REALLY REALLY helped her… I mean vomiting one second, adjusting the next, and 20 minutes later she’s walking around like nothing happened. The trick is finding a good chiropractor who looks for specific subluxations. This is my recommendation from seeing first hand on my ex-girlfriends my current girlfriend as well as my female patients… they schedule appointments with me when they know their periods are about to start.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis at the age of 12, based on a combination of my symptoms and family history. The assortment of pills that I have tried in the years since then (a new one every 3-6 months, on average) have been an ongoing exercise in misery. My “cycles” were erratic, with a mix of insanely heavy bleeding, ridiculously bad cramps (as in, pulling over the car while driving because the cramps forced me into a fetal position), mood swings that’d give you whiplash from a mile away, and just general misery. The really fun part was, there was no way to predict how frequently this would happen or how long it would last when it did. I’d go weeks between “cycles” one month, and only a couple of days the next month. The only thing that has finally gotten it under control is the Depo shot. It’s not the greatest thing for my body, and there are still certain side effects (mild weight gain-about 15 pounds; typically a headache or general tired feeling the first night/day after I get a shot), but the overall effect has been to shut down my menstrual cycle entirely, and I could not be happier about that aspect of it! I’ve been told that getting pregnant could take up to two years after we decide to stop the shot, but honestly, I’d rather take longer to get pregnant than to continue living with the debilitating pain from the endometriosis. Just my two cents. Hopefully your experience is better than mine, but there is no way that I can use any type of chart system for natural management of endometriosis.
This post is SO timely for me! Actually, I just found this blog and so I’m going back and reading older posts.
I got the copper IUD almost 2 years ago now (just before our wedding) because my then-fiance, now-husband and I felt that it was the best method without hormones. Truly, it WORKED because we don’t have kids, but what I was never told was that because I already have an auto-immune disease, the IUD was not a good choice for me. A foreign object in my body causing my body to try and “fight” it for all these months. Yes, my periods were longer; yes, I had more cramps all through my cycle; no, it hadn’t shifted or perforated anything in there. But was it truly right for me? I’ve just come to understand that no, it was not. I would caution any woman with any kind of auto-immune condition that is considering an IUD to think twice. Your doctor most likely will not tell you that it’s not right for you. A little research into understanding your basic immune system will lead you to that conclusion.
All that to say, we took the IUD out just the other day and it’s been GREAT! No more random breath-taking cramping!! I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility cover to cover the other day as well and I’m amazed at the things I was never told about my body. I’m excited to begin charting and finding out more about my body than I ever knew. The facts are clearly explained in the book TCOYF and she always says to follow up with your doctor if you feel something is not right.
I would highly, HIGHLY recommend all women read this book, no matter what stage of life you’re in (prevention, spacing, pre-menopause). At the very least, you will learn something about your body. And if you read the book with an open mind and end up deciding that the method isn’t for you, you can always re-sell the book.
The only other thing is that now we have switched to condoms, it is very hard to find any that aren’t lubricated OR that tell you what the lubricant actually is. I actually own one that is made up of every paraben out there (we don’t use it anymore, it’s getting thrown out, but I just haven’t done it yet). Most lubes are just full of nasty chemicals and parabens!! Why would you want that down there?? I found some Trojan ENZ that are non-lubricated, but they seemed to take a LOT of coconut oil to uh…work correctly. Might just have been me though… :) We will get used to them eventually, I’m sure, or we’ll just find other ways of enjoying intimate time without needing condoms. That’s the fun of being married with no kids!!
Thanks for this post Courtney!
I should also mention that we’re pretty sure (my husband, naturopath, and myself) that the IUD was the cause for my 40lb weight gain DESPITE beginning a real food journey, cutting out refined sugars & carbs, soda (regular and diet), eating more fruits, veggies, good quality meats, coconut oil and grass-fed butter AND increasing my exercise!
I’m glad you’re doing so well, now! But I just wanted to mention that condoms aren’t compatible with oil-based lube! I recommend getting some water-based lube, STAT! This is a really great company that makes organic lubes: http://www.yesyesyes.org/
This book is SO empowering! I stopped the pill and decided NOT to get an IUD after reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. My chart is all over the place since I just stopped the pill 1.5 months ago, but I feel so in charge of my health.
Thanks for writing this! I recently got married and I have been looking for a way to prevent pregnancy. We tried condoms but they really hurt me and unfortunately are a no go for us. And i just very firmly do not believe in birth control. Ordering this book right now. I’m very excited to start reading it!
If condoms are painful, you may have a latex allergy. I had trouble for years, then I started work in clinic and I saw that latex gloves made me break out in a skin rash.
Was on the pill for years ( I thought with no side effects ) Also battled food intolerance’s and bloating and nausea for years. Chose to take a break from the pill, and surprise! Surprise! No more bloating or nausea and I can ear anything !!!
Thank you for writing this! I started using NFP (begrudgingly so) because I’m Catholic and now am so thankful our priest insisted on the training. I love knowing how and why body is doing what it is and that I’m not dependent on pharmaceutical companies to control the size of my family with side effect laden drugs.
Agreed! I have been with my now husband for almost 10 years, and began this method when we met as I was tired of the pill. No babies yet! But the real benefit from this is that I have learned so much about my own body. It’s very empowering (and a little scary!) to understand your cycle more than your own doctor!
I was blessed to have 4 babies in my 20’s. My husband got a vasectomy after that. I am now 50 and have 6 grandkids and one on the way. I am grateful that I don’t have to deal with birth control and never really did. I am also grateful to have Iperiod on my iphone and track my periods and ovulation now. Someday soon I will head into menopause, but right now I can see what my body is doing and that helps. Children are a blessing ! and so are grandkids ;)
So I totally agree about birth control and its dangers and that was very informative about the alternatives. I just thought I’d throw out the option of not planning a pregnancy. Simply being open. We are so controlling over every party of our lives and sometimes i think it’s good to just let go. Besides being pregnant has its perks! I’ve had 7 periods in the last 5 years :-)
What about if you have irregular periods? I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome), and irregular cycles, can I still use this method?
Yes. You absolutely can use it with irregular cycles. I have irregular cycles (endometriosis and a luteal phase defect) and have used NFP (basically the same as FAM just without the barrier methods) for 3 years successfully postponing pregnancy. TCOYF covers these topics but having a personal instructor is very beneficial those first few cycles.