Today, I’m going to tell you why I ditched birth control and how to prevent pregnancy without it.
First of all, I believe that every woman should be fully informed of ALL her options before making a decision concerning what type of birth control she wishes to use.
And I don’t just mean fully informed of all your birth control options. No. I mean fully informed about your body, too! To help you understand more about your cycle and your fertility, I HIGHLY recommend the book “Taking Charge Of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler, MPH (buy here). This is the book that changed my life.
“Taking Charge Of Your Fertility” is extremely informative, easy to read, and full of resources. The book looks large, but that’s because it’s full of resources, charts, and extra information you can look up on an as-needed basis. I also really appreciated that it was well-written and easy to read. My only regret is that I didn’t read it sooner.
Modern Birth Control
The current model of birth control is based off the faulty assumption that women can get pregnant at any given time. The reality is that in a given cycle, there is only a 25% chance we could achieve a pregnancy. Conversely, men are fertile 100% of the time, but they are not the ones targeted for birth control.
This is why I am huge believer in fertility awareness and body literacy. Women should be informed about themselves, their health, their cycles, their fertility, their femininity!
I have personally used the pill, condoms, the LadyComp, the copper IUD, and fertility awareness for birth control.
The Pill
When I married my first husband at 19, everyone I talked to recommended I get on the Pill so that I wouldn’t get pregnant while still in college. I took the Pill for 9 months, and then I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I constantly felt sick, moody, or bloated. My cervical fluid was strange, and I couldn’t get past the fact that long term side effects included blood clots and permanent blindness! The history of the Pill is even more foreboding. Just check out this excerpt from an article in New York Magazine:
The whole point of the Pill from the beginning has been population control. Even though America was consuming more than 50 percent of the world’s resources in the late fifties (with 6 percent of the world’s population), eugenicist fears of the developing world’s excessive procreation ran rampant during the Cold War. According to Andrea Tone’s fascinating history of contraception in America, Devices and Desires, Cold War–era birth-control proponents used the terms ‘family planning,’ ‘birth control,’ and ‘population control’ interchangeably. Women’s rights weren’t the primary impetus to approve the Pill, but they were part of the package, too, of course. “The Pill symbolized the redemption of science,” writes Tone, “showing it capable of developing a technology to stabilize a world order that it simultaneously threatened to destroy.”
After getting off the Pill, I used condoms for a few months, but, as everyone knows, condoms greatly decrease sensitivity and pleasure for both parties.
Still, if you must use condoms, I recommend the thinnest on the market: Beyond Seven Crown (buy here).
The LadyComp
The next thing I tried was the LadyComp, which is an ovulation tracker/computer that records your temperature and uses red, yellow, and green lights to tell you if you’re fertile or not. (Green means “GO! Have sex.” Red means “STOP! Use protection!”)
There are rave reviews about the amazingness of the LadyComp, but I personally did not find it helpful as a sole method of birth control, and here’s why:
- It does not allow for other factors, like caffeine or lack of sleep.
- The Ladycomp gives you quite a large window to take your temperature, which means it could vary greatly. It does not record the time you take it.
- The LadyComp will sometimes show you a green light before ovulation. The problem with this is if you have unprotected sex 5 days before you ovulate, there it still a chance you could get pregnant.
- It makes you lazy because you’re relying on the computer instead of being informed about your cycle.
- It’s less accurate than the Fertility Awareness Method.
- It costs $485 to buy, unlike the Fertility Awareness Method, which is free except for the cost of the book and a thermometer.
- Compared to the Fertility Awareness Method, the LadyComp allows for LESS unprotected sex per cycle because it has a higher margin of error.
- Because there are so many “Red days” where you have to use protection, a barrier method is needed most of the time anyway.
Copper IUD (Intrauterine Device)
When I got fed up with the LadyComp/condom combination, the next thing I tried was the copper IUD, which is inserted into the uterus through the cervix.
It is effective for up to ten years, is a non-hormonal form of birth control, and allows you to have sex without using a barrier at any point in your cycle.
What I wasn’t told before getting the IUD was that:
- It keeps the cervix in a constant state of inflammation.
- It can create copper toxicity in your body.
I also experienced:
- Periods that were heavy and lasted 8-10 days.
- Severe cramping during menstruation.
- Non-stop spotting on every day of my cycle.
- Pain during intercourse.
Well, lo and behold, my uterus expelled the IUD after 6 months! I had it reinserted, and I expelled it again after 3 months. My body knew what was best, I suppose!!
The copper IUD is also very expensive, and not all insurances cover it. I would not recommend it after my experience.
Fertility Awareness Method
(i.e. how to prevent pregnancy without hormones, pills, or invasive procedures)
FIRST OF ALL, the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM or FA) is NOT the same as the Rhythm Method. Fertility Awareness uses temperature readings, charting, cervical fluid observation, and cervical position to determine when ovulation has occurred. The Rhythm Method relies on counting days on the calendar—not bodily signs—to predict ovulation.
Anyway, after my body rejected the IUD (twice), I had no choice but to inform myself. I decided to take the plunge and buy “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” book for a grand total of $20. (I was seriously smacking myself for not doing this YEARS earlier.)
Learning to read your fertility signs for effective pregnancy prevention is one of the easiest things I’ve ever learned. All it requires is that you record both your temperature AND the time each morning when you awake. Taking your temperature each morning quickly becomes routine and is no extra work. And by charting, you can easily see when ovulation has passed and it is safe to have unprotected sex.
I like that unlike the LadyComp, charting your temperatures on paper allows you to visually see when you’ve ovulated. (Oh, BONUS, there is now a smartphone app!) By charting, you can also predict your period a few days in advance. After you chart for a while, you may get to the point where you can predict when you’ll start by the hour. It’s really neat!
Also, unlike the LadyComp, you can write down extenuating factors, like caffeine consumption, exercise, lack of sleep or interrupted sleep—all things that can affect your temperature.
By charting, you get a more accurate reading, so you can have unprotected sex more of the time.
And, if you ARE trying to get pregnant, if you’re charting, you can know as soon as 18 days after ovulation if you’re pregnant just by reading your temperatures!
To clarify, fertility awareness is where you identify the parts of the cycle you are in, when you are most fertile, and learn to (A) avoid sex during the few days you could get pregnant or (B) know when to use condoms or (C) know when you don’t have to use protection at all.
It’s as simple as taking your temperatures and writing them down. You just need to have the book to understand how to interpret them, which you can buy here.
Effectiveness
The Fertility Awareness Method has been proven as effective as the Pill if used correctly. I have personally been using it for over a year with excellent results: no baby! (***UPDATE: I’ve been charting for 59 cycles as of Jan 2017 and still, and still NO BABY! That’s almost 5 years folks!)
Taking my temperature every morning has become routine. You can also get your partner involved by having them put the thermometer in your mouth if you don’t hear the alarm. Some couples have found that both partners taking an active role has made them closer.
I WOULD RECOMMEND CHARTING FOR AT LEAST 3-4 MONTHS BEFORE USING IT AS BIRTH CONTROL. Just so you know what you’re doing and if you’re reading the signs right. In the meantime, barrier methods can be used.
I have found amazing freedom and peace by knowing what my body is doing and reading the signs my body is giving me. I also feel very empowered knowing that I can prevent or achieve pregnancy when the time comes.
I read the book and charted my waking temp diligently for two months and never saw a temperature change. I wonder if it is because I am breastfeeding? I did notice cervical fluid and I have gotten my post partum cycle, but would like to rely on the temp as well. Help?
Beth,
If you are breastfeeding on demand and only 2 months postpartum, you will likely not see any temp rise because the breastfeeding will keep your body from ovulating and hence, no temp rise. When your fertility will return depends on when the baby starts to wean and you breastfeed him less. Keep taking your temp to stay in routine and you will eventually see if rise.
Sorry, didn’t fully read that you did get a period. That first one postpartum COULD be anovulatory (no ovulation, just a shedding of the uterine lining). Just keep taking temp- same time every day.
Just wanted to chime in with a couple of experiences. After a surprise pregnancy when I was in college, I went on the Pill for a couple of years (the hospital required the choice of a birth control option for all patients who had had unplanned pregnancies). Had I known at the time that the Pill could potentially be an abortifacient, I would have chosen differently, but “informed choice” was not exactly at the top of the hospital’s priority list. After DH & I had our first (another surprise; yup, I didn’t learn too well), I wanted to use a diaphragm, but my request apparently got lost in red tape. When our eldest was 15 months old, after just 2 periods, I got pregnant again. When child #2 was born, I DEMANDED a diaphragm and got it (different hospital). However, a couple of years later, I got worried when I couldn’t find the diaphragm, so DH & I used condoms, trying to stave off yet another surprise pregnancy. (When I went to my gyno’s office to get fitted for another diaphragm, the nurse found it. Yup, I had forgotten to take it out the last time!) Well, the diaphragm worked great, as long as we used it. IMO, it was a great method!
My other story is about my mother’s experience with NFP, some 40 years ago. I was a toddler and my dad was a traveling entertainer, so she really wanted to carefully plan their next child. According to my mom’s basal body temp chart, however, my sister was conceived while my dad was out of town. WHOOPS! LOL, I guess nothing’s perfect! :D
Good to know about all those side effects. Thanks.
Of all the birth control methods mentioned, I can’t believe that I didn’t see one mention of vaginal contraceptive film, foam, or gel. I use the film – AWESOME! No need for pills, no need for condoms. You can’t feel the film at all. I’d recommend it times a million for your “back-up” during fertile days. My husband and I use it every time to be on the safe side. It’s called VCF and it’s at the drug store by the condoms and pregnancy tests.
I haven’t read the book (yet), but it appears to observe all the same things as NFP(Natural Family Planning), we’ve been using it for 10 years and it really helped during the times when we were trying to get pregnant.
There is a book by the same author with the relevant information from TCOYF but written for teenagers, Cycle Savvy. I think it should be required reading for middle school. :-)
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0060829648/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?qid=1370454935&sr=8-2&pi=SL75
Thanks for this! My husband and I have 5 children, all conceived using FAM ( or NFP). We are now using it to prevent pregnancy, and all we do is chart my mucous… wet means no, 3 dry days and we’re safe! It doesn’t matter if I get up in the night with the baby, am sick or anything that temperature taking affects.
For those of you who like the IUD, but are against abortion, I wanted to share that an IUD does not prevent pregnancy, it prevents implantation of a fertilized ovum…a new life.
All women need to be informed that anything chemical or foreign in our bodies is dangerous. Thanks again for the encouragement to all readers.
Just for the record, your mileage may vary on safe days before ovulation. We have a baby that was conceived at 8 days prior to ovulation….
I have had problems with my cycle since using a copper IUD for four years. I think the copper created estrogen dominance and threw off my hormones, which, even after removing it a year ago after four years of use (two with more frequent, heavy periods), I have not been able to get my cycles regulated.
With the above information in mind, I think FAM is definitely the way to go!
I can’t thank you enough for sharing, and for discussing this subject in a frank, open way. I have been toying around with the idea of FAM for several months now and your post is what motivated me to order it just now. (I wanted to use your Amazon link, but I live in Germany, so I couldn’t! Next time I order something for family in the States, I’ll get you back.)
I had been on birth control pills for over ten years when I simply stopped having my period (I wasn’t pregnant). I was having horrible, violent mood swings, headaches, and extreme fatigue. I stopped taking the pill, and that all went away — along with a host of other things I hadn’t even realized could be related, such as heart palpitations and — seriously — a more “connected” perspective. (It’s hard to explain, but after being on the pill for so long, coming off of it was a revelation. In retrospect, the hormones DID affect my perspective on things.)
The ovarian cysts I used to have — part of the reason I was still taking birth control pills — have also failed to reappear since I stopped (almost a year ago now).
Everyone, and every couple, needs to find what works for them, but as you said, everyone has the absolute right to be informed. I thought birth control pills were great until I realized what the side affects truly were. And really, once I started becoming aware of how to change my diet and stop using chemicals on/in my body, I couldn’t continue to take birth control pills in good conscience.
Hopefully your fantastic post and these personal stories in the comments will help others make an informed decision. Thank you so much for facilitating the discussion.
I love this, Courtney! I use TCOYF as well, I started it after the side effects from the pill were just too much for me to handle. I stumbled upon a discussion of this book on a forum and bought it right away! It’s really amazing. Thanks for writing about this and helping to increase awareness!