Did you know that professional blogging is a thing? It happens when you get a lot of traffic, and you become known from something really specific. Like my friend Kristen blogs at Food Renegade, and she’s known for her writing about Food Politics. My other friend Cara writes at Health, Home, & Happiness about her journey with her kids on the GAPS diet. My friend Shaye blogs at The Elliott Homestead about, well, homesteading. (And Jesus).
I can think of several other blogger friends that are all very specific, and their traffic is bigger than mine, which means that their voices are louder. More people hear what they have to say.
I feel like I have a lot to say, but…lately, I’ve been feeling very hesitant to share. And by lately, I mean ever since Frank and I got divorced.
Gosh that’s hard to say.
But how do you share after divorce? What do you want to share?
I actually got hate mail from readers saying that I misrepresented my marriage, and even people in my own family questioned if I was even a Christian anymore if I was going to get divorced. WHAT EVEN.
I felt so estranged from everything, and I was living out in the East Bay of California far from home in Nashville, TN, far from my mom, and I just stopped wanting to share.
But here I am, on the blog again.
Do you know what it costs to keep this thing online? Nevermind. I don’t even want to say. Just suffice it to say that I APPRECIATE whenever you buy stuff through my links and things because it really really truly does help pay to keep it online. Let’s just say it’s more than a car payment.
But anyway, I’m not even sure who’s reading this, but lately, my blogger friends have been telling me I need to specialize in something so that way I can get more traffic, and this makes sense to me. I mean, like just today, I found this woman on Instagram named Sarah Tyau. She buys clothes at thrift shops, resews them into the cutest outfits for herself and her daughters.
I’M SO JEALOUS.
After looking at her Insta for 2 seconds, I seriously want to learn how to sew. Like NOW. I want to sew so bad!
Like seriously, R U KITTEN ME?!
One of the easiest DIY's I've ever done, simply add lace to the dress and viola! A whole new dress! For this piece I was featured on the front cover of Altered Couture & a 3-page spread and on Sew, a U.K. magazine ➡️ swipe to the right. For more photos and where to get the lace I used, link in bio or go to ourlifeisbeautiful.com and search: tangerine dress #repurpose #vintageclothing #upcycle #sewing
See? She specializes in something. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s incredibly gorgeous to boot. GAH.
But what do I specialize in? Cooking. I guess. I like to cook. I like to cook from scratch. I like to use spices. I like nourishing ingredients, things that I know will build up healthy cells in the bodies of the people I feed, including myself.
I was so sick before…I like eating food that is good for me so I won’t relapse and get sick again and so I can enjoy life, and I like eating food that’s freaking delicious.
But I also love other things. How can I specialize?
I want to talk about Jesus. Especially since my faith has grown.
I want to talk about fertility. I love topics surrounding the science, spirituality and health of sex, pregnancy, and birth. (I desperately want to be able to join the conversation surrounding motherhood, since these predecessors naturally mean I’m around mothers and have a heart for mother’s and babies, but since I’m not a mom myself yet, I feel cut off from the conversation.)
I want to talk about spices and how beneficial they can be for your health as well as your tastebuds.
I want to share with you my recipes for DIY lotion and sunscreen and lip balms and deodorant—plus, anything else I come up with like hair masks and homemade eyeliner. I still need to post about my homemade eye liner…I’ve been meaning to do that….
There are SO many things! I want to talk to you about my various projects where I build stuff with wood like my bookshelves.
And eventually, I want to share with you when I go thrifting and refashion some frumpy old jumper into a cute modern dress like Sarah Tyau.
So how should I narrow down exactly? And do I want to? Can I even?
My problem is the same one I’ve always had: I have too many interests. As the saying goes, I’m a “Jack of all trades, master of none.”
…or would that be “Jill” of all trades??
Anyway, I know I’m rambling, but I went to a Wednesday night church service tonight, and I got to thinking during worship that fear doesn’t reflect who I want to be in Christ. Being afraid of things doesn’t exactly represent the victory I have in Christ, does it?
Since my divorce, I’ve been afraid to blog. Afraid of saying the wrong thing. Afraid of writing something and no one reading it. Afraid of writing something and someone reading it! Afraid of being judged for what I think and publish online. Afraid of it not being worth it to write. Afraid of being a sub-par writer. Afraid of putting myself out there again.
I realized tonight that it doesn’t matter. My victory is in Christ, and that’s all I need. It’s beyond blogging and beyond any opinions and thoughts I might have. I don’t know what He has in store for this blog, and if it will grow into something larger or if it will stay small. But right now, I’ve decided to share with you my thoughts for the day, and maybe that’s enough.
I miss talking to you guys. I miss being brave and writing something as crazy and vulnerable as my journey with various birth controls and then receiving an email from a woman who was elated to have found my post and got the book I recommended and then emailed me to tell me that after 2 years of trying to get pregnant, she and her husband conceived on the first try after using my advice! I literally opened that email and cried for a half hour in joy.
So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m not sure about narrowing down my focus yet, so I’m just going to write.
Every day, I’m going to wake up a little bit earlier, and in the quite spaces of the morning, I’m going to attempt to write. And then I’m going to post it. Probably with a terrible blog title because I’m horrible at titles, too. But that’s it. I’m going to write about my every day, just like I did before. I’ll share with you what I’m learning, as I learn it, even if no one reads it.
At least my cat still loves me.
Girl, you are singing my song! I feel EXACTLY the same way…like LITERALLY the same struggles, right down to the same fears. I wish I had a quick and easy FIX, but the way out is what you said…just keep pressing in. He will reveal it one step at a time. HUGS!
Julie! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one!