Today, I’m going to tell you why I ditched birth control and how to prevent pregnancy without it.
First of all, I believe that every woman should be fully informed of ALL her options before making a decision concerning what type of birth control she wishes to use.
And I don’t just mean fully informed of all your birth control options. No. I mean fully informed about your body, too! To help you understand more about your cycle and your fertility, I HIGHLY recommend the book “Taking Charge Of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler, MPH (buy here). This is the book that changed my life.
“Taking Charge Of Your Fertility” is extremely informative, easy to read, and full of resources. The book looks large, but that’s because it’s full of resources, charts, and extra information you can look up on an as-needed basis. I also really appreciated that it was well-written and easy to read. My only regret is that I didn’t read it sooner.
Modern Birth Control
The current model of birth control is based off the faulty assumption that women can get pregnant at any given time. The reality is that in a given cycle, there is only a 25% chance we could achieve a pregnancy. Conversely, men are fertile 100% of the time, but they are not the ones targeted for birth control.
This is why I am huge believer in fertility awareness and body literacy. Women should be informed about themselves, their health, their cycles, their fertility, their femininity!
I have personally used the pill, condoms, the LadyComp, the copper IUD, and fertility awareness for birth control.
The Pill
When I married my first husband at 19, everyone I talked to recommended I get on the Pill so that I wouldn’t get pregnant while still in college. I took the Pill for 9 months, and then I just couldn’t do it anymore.
I constantly felt sick, moody, or bloated. My cervical fluid was strange, and I couldn’t get past the fact that long term side effects included blood clots and permanent blindness! The history of the Pill is even more foreboding. Just check out this excerpt from an article in New York Magazine:
The whole point of the Pill from the beginning has been population control. Even though America was consuming more than 50 percent of the world’s resources in the late fifties (with 6 percent of the world’s population), eugenicist fears of the developing world’s excessive procreation ran rampant during the Cold War. According to Andrea Tone’s fascinating history of contraception in America, Devices and Desires, Cold War–era birth-control proponents used the terms ‘family planning,’ ‘birth control,’ and ‘population control’ interchangeably. Women’s rights weren’t the primary impetus to approve the Pill, but they were part of the package, too, of course. “The Pill symbolized the redemption of science,” writes Tone, “showing it capable of developing a technology to stabilize a world order that it simultaneously threatened to destroy.”
After getting off the Pill, I used condoms for a few months, but, as everyone knows, condoms greatly decrease sensitivity and pleasure for both parties.
Still, if you must use condoms, I recommend the thinnest on the market: Beyond Seven Crown (buy here).
The LadyComp
The next thing I tried was the LadyComp, which is an ovulation tracker/computer that records your temperature and uses red, yellow, and green lights to tell you if you’re fertile or not. (Green means “GO! Have sex.” Red means “STOP! Use protection!”)
There are rave reviews about the amazingness of the LadyComp, but I personally did not find it helpful as a sole method of birth control, and here’s why:
- It does not allow for other factors, like caffeine or lack of sleep.
- The Ladycomp gives you quite a large window to take your temperature, which means it could vary greatly. It does not record the time you take it.
- The LadyComp will sometimes show you a green light before ovulation. The problem with this is if you have unprotected sex 5 days before you ovulate, there it still a chance you could get pregnant.
- It makes you lazy because you’re relying on the computer instead of being informed about your cycle.
- It’s less accurate than the Fertility Awareness Method.
- It costs $485 to buy, unlike the Fertility Awareness Method, which is free except for the cost of the book and a thermometer.
- Compared to the Fertility Awareness Method, the LadyComp allows for LESS unprotected sex per cycle because it has a higher margin of error.
- Because there are so many “Red days” where you have to use protection, a barrier method is needed most of the time anyway.
Copper IUD (Intrauterine Device)
When I got fed up with the LadyComp/condom combination, the next thing I tried was the copper IUD, which is inserted into the uterus through the cervix.
It is effective for up to ten years, is a non-hormonal form of birth control, and allows you to have sex without using a barrier at any point in your cycle.
What I wasn’t told before getting the IUD was that:
- It keeps the cervix in a constant state of inflammation.
- It can create copper toxicity in your body.
I also experienced:
- Periods that were heavy and lasted 8-10 days.
- Severe cramping during menstruation.
- Non-stop spotting on every day of my cycle.
- Pain during intercourse.
Well, lo and behold, my uterus expelled the IUD after 6 months! I had it reinserted, and I expelled it again after 3 months. My body knew what was best, I suppose!!
The copper IUD is also very expensive, and not all insurances cover it. I would not recommend it after my experience.
Fertility Awareness Method
(i.e. how to prevent pregnancy without hormones, pills, or invasive procedures)
FIRST OF ALL, the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM or FA) is NOT the same as the Rhythm Method. Fertility Awareness uses temperature readings, charting, cervical fluid observation, and cervical position to determine when ovulation has occurred. The Rhythm Method relies on counting days on the calendar—not bodily signs—to predict ovulation.
Anyway, after my body rejected the IUD (twice), I had no choice but to inform myself. I decided to take the plunge and buy “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” book for a grand total of $20. (I was seriously smacking myself for not doing this YEARS earlier.)
Learning to read your fertility signs for effective pregnancy prevention is one of the easiest things I’ve ever learned. All it requires is that you record both your temperature AND the time each morning when you awake. Taking your temperature each morning quickly becomes routine and is no extra work. And by charting, you can easily see when ovulation has passed and it is safe to have unprotected sex.
I like that unlike the LadyComp, charting your temperatures on paper allows you to visually see when you’ve ovulated. (Oh, BONUS, there is now a smartphone app!) By charting, you can also predict your period a few days in advance. After you chart for a while, you may get to the point where you can predict when you’ll start by the hour. It’s really neat!
Also, unlike the LadyComp, you can write down extenuating factors, like caffeine consumption, exercise, lack of sleep or interrupted sleep—all things that can affect your temperature.
By charting, you get a more accurate reading, so you can have unprotected sex more of the time.
And, if you ARE trying to get pregnant, if you’re charting, you can know as soon as 18 days after ovulation if you’re pregnant just by reading your temperatures!
To clarify, fertility awareness is where you identify the parts of the cycle you are in, when you are most fertile, and learn to (A) avoid sex during the few days you could get pregnant or (B) know when to use condoms or (C) know when you don’t have to use protection at all.
It’s as simple as taking your temperatures and writing them down. You just need to have the book to understand how to interpret them, which you can buy here.
Effectiveness
The Fertility Awareness Method has been proven as effective as the Pill if used correctly. I have personally been using it for over a year with excellent results: no baby! (***UPDATE: I’ve been charting for 59 cycles as of Jan 2017 and still, and still NO BABY! That’s almost 5 years folks!)
Taking my temperature every morning has become routine. You can also get your partner involved by having them put the thermometer in your mouth if you don’t hear the alarm. Some couples have found that both partners taking an active role has made them closer.
I WOULD RECOMMEND CHARTING FOR AT LEAST 3-4 MONTHS BEFORE USING IT AS BIRTH CONTROL. Just so you know what you’re doing and if you’re reading the signs right. In the meantime, barrier methods can be used.
I have found amazing freedom and peace by knowing what my body is doing and reading the signs my body is giving me. I also feel very empowered knowing that I can prevent or achieve pregnancy when the time comes.
There isn’t just “the pill” there are dozens of different methods that may effect you different ways. It may not be for everybody, and you have to take it everyday, but it sounds a lot less time consuming than tracking my cycles, temperatures, and anything I might have done to effect those.
There are a lot of options for birth control, which is great because every woman is different! Since I don’t want to keep track of ovulation, the pill works great for me! It also cleared up my acne.
If you only tried one kind of oral contraceptive and didn’t like it, you might talk to your doctor about trying a different one before you decide they all make you sick and bloated. They aren’t all the same.
No method is fool proof or accident proof, so best of luck finding what works for you, ladies! It’s nice to know there are so many options.
Taking my temperature everyday instead of taking the Pill everyday has actually been easier for me, personally. Also, the information gained by taking my temperature has taught me so much about my body. The knowledge I’ve gained has been invaluable.
Besides all the risks and side effects involved with the Pill, another thing I learned (after I got off it) is that—in the case of fertilization—it prevents a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus. I believe that life starts at conception, so to me this form of abortion is unacceptable. It makes the Pill a non-option for me, even if the other risks didn’t exist.
I also love FAM! I learned about it when I was ready to get pregnant (after years of using contraceptives, mainly a cervical cap, which I liked a lot) and then after my son was born, I learned that my old brand of cap was no longer made, and I couldn’t get a good fit with the new brand or a diaphragm…so we were using condoms but began using them less and less of the time as my cycles resumed and we felt more certain about what was happening.
Like Mrs. Katie above, I practice FAM by observing changes in fluid (and breast and pelvic sensations) but no temperature charting. I am the kind of sleeper who is so startled by the alarm clock that my heart starts pounding and messes up my temperature! I have also used the Ovulens reusable saliva tester, which is a great additional source of info, but I would not rely on it alone.
My personal experience with postpartum fertility was that the signs of impending ovulation were SO OBVIOUS that they got my attention even though I wasn’t particularly looking for them; I mentally bookmarked 15 days later, and sure enough, that was when my period started. I have heard too many stories like Jennifer’s to believe that it is like this for everyone! I think learning FAM before pregnancy is likely to increase your awareness so you’re more able to sense your returning fertility, but I would not rely on it and would (and did!) use a barrier method as well.
One important thing to know about the FAM-advocated strategy of using a barrier method when you are fertile–vs. the NFP approach of abstaining completely when fertile–is that the published effectiveness rates of barrier methods are based on studies of couples who used these methods throughout the cycle. If you use them only when you are fertile, you can expect that the chance of pregnancy is up to 4 times higher than when they are used consistently. That’s why I prefer to abstain from intercourse completely during the fertile time–there are other fun things to do, if you’re not Catholic! :-)
On the plus side, any barrier method is MORE effective if you use it whenever you have sex but also abstain from sex when you know you’re fertile. Fertility Awareness can be helpful even with hormonal contraceptives as a way to notice if it isn’t working–I have a friend who realized that her antibiotic had stopped her birth control pills from working because she recognized fertile mucus and a distinctive abdominal pang. FAM is even helpful to virgins because it’s convenient to know when to expect your period.
Thanks for helping to inform people about FAM!
Where are you getting this 4 times higher risk number from? What source or what reasoning?
What about for couples who just had children and haven’t had a period yet? Will this method work for them?
I’m curious about this as well. When my son was 14 mths old, I was still breastfeeding, had not had a postpartum period, and I got pregnant. I actually talked to my gyn 4 days prior to a positive pregnancy test about NFM. I was basically told that since I was not having a period, I had no worries. Well…I’m almost 34 weeks pregnant. I really have no idea what method of birth control I will use after this baby. The mini-pill is out of the question (tried it while breastfeeding my first child and it made me feel crazy), and I’m just not keen on having a foreign object in my body. I could attempt the NFM again, but when you breastfeed, you usually don’t get a period back for several months and your hormones are so out of whack, it seems like charting would be practically impossible. Permanent options are out of the question for now.
If you go to http://www.ccli.org you can sign up for a postpartum class that will explain all about your return of fertility after having a baby. Check their website and you may get someof the basic info from it.
Yes. By charting basal body temperature and cervical fluid, you can determine if/when you have ovulated, even if your cycles are irregular.
If you’re trying to PREVENT another pregnancy after giving birth but you haven’t had your period yet, you would need to pay very close attention to your cervical fluid and cervical opening to determine if ovulation is occurring. Temperatures are used to determine IF ovulation has occurred, and when it’s PASSED. This is why you use all the signs together. If you’re observing your signs, thought, you’ll know when ovulation is passed and you’re able to have unprotected sex without getting pregnant. If you’re trying to not get pregnant again, use of a barrier is recommended. The book has chapters that detail how to chart for women in all different types of cycles.
I LOVE the LadyComp. When you use it for enough months you get more ‘green is go’ days. I use it in conjunction with FAM (I read the book suggested above) and I note down my temp on a phone ap. I highly recommend both the book and the LadyComp. The pill messed me up and I’ve heard too many bad stories about IUD’s. Happy to be more aware of my own body and to be doing things naturally.
We use Fertility Awareness partially. It has always been easy for me to chart just using cervical fluids, so that is all I do. And for those of us with young children, taking an accurate daily temperature is often not feasible – you get woken up at night too often to make it reliable.
Whether or not people can use this method, I do highly recommend reading the book. Knowing about how your body works is vital no mater what method of birth control you may choose to use.
I just wanted to throw out my experience for others since its so different than yours. I’ve had the copper IUD for 3 years now & I love it! I alway recommend it to people. I had some cramping in the days after it was inserted (but I also was on my period & having really bad cramps every month so not sure how much was each) but it hasn’t effect the length of my periods (4 days) or made them any more painful.
I have to agree with Kesse. I had the copper IUD in for a year and a half and loved it! I do understand that some women have problems with them but as for me I only had slight cramping the day it was put in and the day it was taken out. My periods were only 4-5 days and they were normal one day and light the rest (I had light periods before). I did have it taken out so that we could try for another baby when we wanted to and if we didn’t want to that month I tracked when I was ovulating and just made sure we did not have sex during that time. I did not get pregnant for 10 months until we decided to “actively” try (I am now 8 weeks along!) but I think that for some people they don’t want to risk becoming pregnant for health reasons. I have a blood clotting disorder so I cannot have hormonal birth control (which is why I got the copper IUD) and just recently found out that I have a heart shaped uterus. Both conditions make being pregnant dangerous for me, I have to be on blood thinners while pregnant and after delivery and because my uterus is heart shaped I have a higher risk of smaller, premature babies, and that’s if they are in the bigger side. If they are in the smaller side then I won’t carry to term, the average is only 21.5 weeks and the longest documented case is 24.5 weeks. I do believe that we should be as natural as we can but for some women it is important for them to do what they can to make sure they are healthy and safe as well.
Hi Amana –
I recommend that you look a little further into your diagnosis and prognosis. I have a friend that also has a heart shaped uterus and was scared into a lot of testing and numerous extra appointments and ultrasounds. She has delivered two babies full term. Good luck with your pregnancy!
“Fertility Awareness uses temperature readings, charting, cervical fluid observation, and cervical position to determine when ovulation has occurred.”
NFP is the same thing as FAM just under a different name. All of things mentioned above are used in NFP to either prevent or attain pregnancy. The Rhythm Method, however, is different. That only uses the calendar for charting rather than bodily signs.
Natural Family Planning is the name used by the Catholic Church for spacing children naturally. Fertility Awareness is the secular term for the same method.
Just wanted to clarify. :-)
It is my understanding (from reading this FAM book and also taking an NFP class at a local Catholic church) that the methods only differ in one area: FAM allows/recommends the use of a barrier method of birth control during fertile periods while Catholicism supports an abstinent period of time. Other than that, they are the same!
NFP is the method recommended by the Church, but it is not only for Catholics. It is MUCH more than FAM. Yes, the MAJOR difference is the use of barrier methods during fertile times. NFP requires the couple to have a period of abstinence during the fertile times, but this allows the couple to enjoy each other for more than just a way to scratch an itch. The period of abstinence allows for personal reflection, personal growth and relation/communication building between the couple that a roll in the hay doesn’t. When the non fertile time arrives, this then allows a “honeymoon” period. We always say we go for QUALITY, not QUANTITY. Would you rather have ho hum sex everyday of the week or mind blowing sex a couple times a month?
Man, it kills me when I see people arguing for the Catholic take on birth control.
For once, it was an admitted way to easily increase the Catholic population in the 1950s. Not Biblical.
For second, how does married sex become a “roll in the hay” that “just scratches an itch” and doesn’t “build a relationship” when the woman is fertile, but magically becomes “good sex” when the woman is not in her fertile period? That is a comparison more apt for premarital sex, not sex during a fertile period with barrier contraception.
For third, the Catholic training glosses over a very important point. Generally the female is most desiring of sex during her fertile period. A little trick our bodies play on us – that works in favor of conceiving more babies even when using NFP and thereby increasing the (Catholic) population.
Finally, plenty of women have irregular cycles that make NFP impossible. No married sex for them, I guess.
No wonder Christians hardly wait for marriage any more. What horrible logic. Avoiding sex during the fertile period is no more trusting God’s will than is using a barrier method of birth control. The barrier is just measured in feet instead of millimeters. The intent is the same.
If trusting God’s will for perfect timing is truly the aim, NFP does not have a place in your life.
First, Courtney, I commend you for switching over! Natural methods are far less frightening, no?!?
Second, as a Catholic who uses NFP I’m totally turned off (no pun intended) by your argument Tara. The whole quality vs quantity thing is a horrible way of thinking it. Mind blowing sex? Really? NFP does not make sex more or less enjoyable. Stick to the facts.
Third, for the commenter above who mentioned that NFP/FAM doesn’t work for women that have irregular cycles, that is just inaccurate. I know many women who have used NFP/FAM to help them discover WHY they were irregular (often due to hormonal imbalances, sometimes cause by hormonal BC, or things like PCOS). Most instructors of natural methods are trained in ways to help women with irregularities (in dealing with them and in treating them). Again, stick to the facts.
I feel the need to say that my husband posted the previous comments and while I agree with most of what he said, it was not stated in “my voice.” We teach the sympto-thermal method of NFP so we can attest to its proven effective for all women, especially for women with fertility issues and cycle irregularity. Personally, we are completely open to life and have subsequently been blessed with 7 living children and 6 heavenly ones. We use NFP to chart for health reasons and to determine pregnancy, but that is not to say we’ve never used it to temporarily postpone. We are also friends with many who use NFP regularly to postpone because they have serious reasons to do so. Until 1930 every single Christian church rejected contraception. You can check out my blog to read some of the history, but in a nutshell after the Lambeth Conference the Catholic Church alone continued to stand against contraception which is very much based in scripture. I’m not trying to convert anyone here, I just want to clarify that the Catholic Church cannot change a moral teaching(period) If you’ve read the encyclical written by Pope Paul VI, you’d know he predicted that acceptance of contraception would result in increased divorce, abortion on demand, the general lowering of respect for women, etc. (all of which we can see clearly today). To say the Church wanted to increase its numbers is simply silly. The failed Rhythm Method was based on the available science of the time and as such applied one mathematical assumption on all women indiscriminately which is why it only worked for women who actually had a 28day cycle and ovulated on day 14. I agree with the honeymoon effect, but the words used were not mine. There is a difference that many women have told me they feel once they begin using NFP and the difference is in the communication it involves and the greater respect they feel for themselves and from their spouse. We, as women, are beautifully made and we have the power to cradle life in our wombs. The contraceptive culture has divorced us from our true selves and masked our creative powers. NFP restores all that and so much more.
My husband and I tried NFP when we first got married. We charted my temps at the same time every morning, I checked my fluids, and the position of my girl stuff. Before marriage we didn’t have sex, but I began charting months before our honeymoon. We got pregnant without wanting to yet a month after we were married. I am glad we did because after having our son I got an extremely rare auto-immune disease. Now, we use condoms because we fear for my life and the life of our unborn child if I were to get pregnant. We use condoms and it drives me crazy, our sex is not the same (some of that is my disease and body though). I would love to go back to a natural system, but don’t trust it after our experience of getting pregnant the last time. Any thoughts?
This is the best discussion I’ve read about all the methods available, and from someone who has tried them too, thanks for sharing! I am in a similar situation to L, I really don’t want to get pregnant at the moment, an accident would not be happy, so best to stick with what you know works 100% (in my case the pill, even though I hate to think how its affecting my body), it would be even better if my husband would get a vasectomy. I think the natural method is great if you’re in a situation where a mistake just results in a happy accidental pregnancy, and not disaster!
I’m on year 7 of the copper IUD. In the last 2 years the extreme side effects have subsided. My periods are 7-10 days instead of 10-14 and cramping is half of what it was, it was debilitating at times, like not being able to go to work bad. The change in the last two years was switching to the mooncup, can’t say enough good things about the cup! I still have uncomfortable intercourse, but I feel like it is the least of all the evils. After the IUD expires in 3 years(when I’m 30/31), I might look into the FAM method, until then I don’t feel comfortable risking it.
I agree with you 100%! My husband and I used this with NO side effects (YAY!) and three planned pregnancies. I wish more young ladies would look into it.